I could have so easily missed it.

But there it was, stuck to the corner of my son’s bowl, calling out to me in a still, small voice.

Here I am, it seemed to say. It’s important that you notice me.

And now that I am looking more carefully at a photo of it, I have to wonder why.

Sure, this blog is about finding God’s presence in ordinary items that cross my path. But this star seemed like a stretch, even for me. The things I meditate upon tend to be discrete objects, like plants, toys, and missing pieces of hardware—not smudges of leftover food. And yet, this anomaly was demanding my attention. So, I snapped the photo and committed to writing about it.

My first question: How did it come into being? And to that I can only say that its creation seems random. My son can be a messy eater who leaves all manner of debris in his wake. It’s kind of a miracle that I caught sight of the star before the dish went into the dishwasher. Time is of the essence when cleaning up after my boy, because he mainly eats spaghetti sauce, that so easily stains everything upon contact.

Second question: What did the little star mean? To answer that, I had to delve into my heart to see what kind of thoughts or emotions it provoked. And what came up for me was this: discouragement. My son, who has autism, is not just a picky eater, but a rigid eater. He wants the same things for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The latter two meals involve a marina sauce with vegetables that I have hidden within it and ground meat. It’s labor intensive to make, and I usually batch cook a supply every six weeks or so. I wish very much that my son would be open to trying new things to eat, but that is not where we are right now. And there are so many other things we are working on with him, I figure that we can lay this challenge aside since his diet is healthy nutrient-wise.

Third question: Could the star be a sign? I’m thinking of the three wise men in the Christmas narrative, who followed a star to Jesus. Something in me says it would be just like God to place a star in the very location where I am often disheartened. If I follow this star to its destination—my son’s perseverating behavior—my heart falls into my stomach, and the future looks grim as far as he is concerned. I wish I could say that this little star led me to rejoice as the wise men did upon finding their king, but the fact that it was there at all prevents me from running straight off the proverbial cliff and into a chasm of devastation.

Perhaps stars like this appear wherever we need them to, carrying their own pointed message for the moment. My son might insist on pasta with marinara sauce at every meal right now, but it may not always be this way. He might begin to expand his palate in the future. Recently his classroom teacher told me he’d eaten pizza and sugar cookies at school on the days that they baked. I wonder if other kids doing the same had anything to do with it. How I wish I could have seen these small steps forward to undo the knot of unbelief that things could be very different in days to come. People change. And though it seems like autistic people are inured to change, they do it too. Just more slowly and subtly than others.

Take Esau, for example. He is known for being the older twin who loses both birthright and blessing to Jacob—not as someone who will change drastically in attitude towards his sibling. Aided by their mother, Jacob fools his aged father into thinking he is the firstborn, so that Isaac pronounces the momentous words that guarantee Jacob’s preeminence in the family (Gen. 27:27–29). When Esau learns of his brother’s treachery, he vows vengeance:

“Now Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him, and Esau said to himself, ‘The days of mourning for my father are approaching, then I will kill my brother Jacob” (Gen. 27:41).

Yet, when the two brothers unite many years later, Esau’s actions toward Jacob are far from violent:

“But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept” (Gen.33:4).

Somehow, the rage that had been boiling—quite justifiably—in Esau dissipated over the long separation. Esau is gracious to his younger brother, having found satisfaction in how his own life turned out over time. Rather than letting a root of bitterness grow within, the elder brother rid himself of a scourge that afflicts many who have been seriously wronged. What star did he see that cleared his vision and freed his heart to forgive?

I’ll share another example, from my own life, that shone like a promising star the other day. My son has taken to rummaging through closets in our home, since I often hide gifts there to use as motivators when we must do something he doesn’t like or finds difficult. For a while, he’s watched a long-discontinued cartoon on his tablet. It features a handful of merry, round, elvish creatures, each with its own distinctive laugh. My son had all but the last stuffed animal in the collection and found it in the closet. Since I was saving in for an upcoming dentist visit, I did not let him have it but hid it away again while he was at school.

I discovered him looking through the closet in his room and knew exactly what was going on. He was after that last stuffed animal—let’s call it Cutie. I said to him, “Honey, Cutie isn’t in there. You won’t get Cutie until you go to the dentist.”

Looking straight at me, my son said, quite pointedly: “Where’s Cutie?”

I was astonished. He’s never asked a “where” question of me in his entire 12-year-old life. It makes me wonder what other words are churning within him, ready to come out with the right motivation. In any case, I had glimpsed a star by hearing a new word from my son after a long period of no novelties.

Above which area of your life would you like to see a star set itself? Perhaps you are not healthy in body or are struggling financially or are wrestling with a particular relationship in your life. Maybe this would be a good time to keep your eyes peeled for even the smallest, most transient of signs that Someone cares enough for you to send a very personal message. One customized so that you know it’s from Him.

If you’re too tired, ask a friend to keep watch with and for you, and have them pray to hear a messenger’s word of encouragement so they can pass it on to you. If you want to be such a messenger for someone else, it does a lot to cheer your own spirit.

Oh You who would move

Heaven and earth to get

Through to us.

Let us not miss the still, small ways

You are speaking.

Let us both give and receive

Encouragement.

Hang a star above our heads

And help us look up.

And give us hope

That the future could be

Very different than

How things are now.

Give us grateful

Hopeful hearts.

Amen.